Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Emotional Eating

Emotional eating makes me angry. So I eat.
Emotional eating gets me frustrated. So I eat.
Emotional eating makes me feel like a failure. So I eat.
Emotional eating knocks me off the wagon. So I eat.
Emotional eating makes me rationalize why I am making bad choices. So I eat. Because there is a perfectly good reason for it. .... Right? Isn't there?? 
Emotional eating makes me not want to track. So I don't. 

Emotional eating makes me fat.

So I stop.

It stops today. 

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Step Away From The Bacon!

I married the proverbial "man of my dreams" last April. He is good, and kind, and sweet, and thoughtful. And sinister. HA! I have blogged before about how, in his kind and thoughtful manner, he sabotages me. And I've owned the fact that it's not really him sabotaging me, it's ME sabotaging me when I accept his offerings of food "just so I won't hurt his feelings". 

But seriously. How MANY TIMES do I have to say the words "Thank you, honey, but I can't eat that." And how many times do I have to see his crestfallen look, as though I have just rejected him personally when I don't accept what he brings me. He is my biggest cheerleader throughout this progress, and is constantly telling me that he can tell I am losing weight, and compliments me daily. 

So why does he CONTINUE to bring me food that I can't eat? Does he think he is helping me perfect my willpower? Is he taking personal responsibility for honing my character and my resolve? 

We have a house full of grandbabies this weekend, and Papa got up to cook breakfast for everyone. I was busy in the bedroom with chores and getting ready for the day, happy to be behind closed doors and not having my senses assaulted with the sounds and smells of sizzling bacon, iced cinnamon rolls, and freshly-scrambled eggs. Happy that I had avoided the morning feast, and totally prepared for my coffee, water, and my protein bar, my daily breakfast routine, I settled in to finish watching an episode of Yard Crashers on HGTV, to wait it out until the feasting and cleanup process was complete. 

I hear a faint knock at the door, and in walks my husband, looking so pleased with himself, as though he was presenting me a winning lottery ticket or something. But it was not to be a winning lottery ticket, but a plate heavily laden with bacon, eggs and a cinnamon roll. WHAT???

"Oh honey.... I can't eat this!!!... but thank you for bringing it to me!" 

When what I really wanted to do was smash the plate in his face, cream-pie fashion, stand on his back and scream at him. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME?????

As he hung his head low, and looked like I had just kicked his puppy, I relented, and told him I would eat the eggs. It was a small serving, after all. Then I checked the points value for the bacon, and found it was 2 pts for 1 slice, 5 points for 2 slices, so I ate 1 1/2 slices for 3 points. I ended up with 5 points for my breakfast, which is what my protein bar "costs", so I came out okay. He did at least take the cinnamon roll off the plate and gave it to one of the kids. 

But now the Bacon Monster has been unleashed. There are certain things that I can do okay with. As in, "eat just one". There are other things that are danger foods for me, and when I have them, it seems like the dam just breaks and I find myself craving more and more. Bacon is one of those things. Breakfast foods in general, but especially bacon. Cooked to a crispy, crunchy slab of deliciousness (just about 30 seconds away from burning). I could eat a pan full of it. 

Thankfully, he cooked the entire package, and thankfully, he and the rest of the crew finished off every delightful bite, so there are no little bacon crunchies left lying about the kitchen. 

But my house still smells like bacon.

What am I going to DO with this man??? Why can't he understand that sometimes I'm just not that strong, or even if I am strong and only eat a little bit, that it just makes me want more? He is so sweet and kind... but I guess I'm just gonna hafta get tough with him, and tell him (AGAIN) that this is making my journey more difficult. The program is so perfectly doable, and it works so well. But for me, it's as much of a mental battle as it is a physical one. He sees what he is doing as being kind, and pleasing me by bringing me food. Sometimes I see i t as mean and cruel. 

The windows are open in the house, and I've locked myself in my office to do some work. Maybe the bacon smell will be gone by the time I'm finished. I sure hope so. 

Happy Saturday!!

Wednesday, February 29, 2012


Not my usual happy self. Just grumpy. I don't feel like I have lost any weight this week. I have gone 3 days without walking, (grumpy!) and since tomorrow is weigh-in, I'm just not going to walk tonight either. Not going to take that chance of my muscles retaliating and hanging onto fluid. I've been 100% perfect OP, I've logged my food and liquids. Yet the (bathroom) scales are not budging. Yes, I know there are other ways to judge success besides the stupid scale. I'm doing the program. That is success. But week before last I stayed the same. Last week I was up 0.6. And the worst thing of all is that I don't FEEL like anything is happening. There's this IBS thing that's messin' with me as well, but there's nothing I can do about that. Or at least everything I try to do about it (in the way of medication) has been futile. 

I know how I operate. I'm just afraid if I don't start seeing some scale action, some looser-clothing action, etc., I'm going to get discouraged and drop out. I've committed to doing this, though, and I'm going to stick with it. I just hate that my bump-in-the-road has come along so early in the journey. 

It makes me really grumpy. 

And I'm getting that scratchy feeling in my eyes and nose that comes just before a cold virus attacks me. 

That makes me grumpy too. 

The boys made a mess in the kitchen last night and didn't clean it up. Now I have to look at it all day (because I refuse to clean up after a 55 year old and a 31 year old!)

That makes me even grumpier. 

Okay, a little later I'm going to read some of my personal blog posts about perspective, and count my blessings for a while. But for now I'm just going to wallow in a big pool of 


Monday, February 27, 2012

Sunday: A Day Of Rest

Well, not really. I can't remember when I actually rested on a Sunday. It's the first day of my work-week, and I work til 9 p.m.  While all my friends are enjoying their Sunday-afternoon naps.  And since the check-engine light came on in my car this weekend, I had to rearrange my schedule to allow me to get it checked out.  Translated:  Instead of doing my contract work this morning (Monday) before starting my "real" job at noon, I had to do my contract work on Sunday morning. Translated:  I missed church, and instead was tethered to the desk from about 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., with a couple of breaks for lunch and dinner.  

All that to say this:  I did not get my walk in yesterday.  Lots of people recommend taking a day off, but I find it generally works better for me not to miss a day. Keep the momentum going kind-of-thing, if you know what I mean.  Nevertheless, I took A Day Of Rest From Walking yesterday.  Today is my shift-and-a-half day, and I won't finish tonight until 11 pm or later.  I'm telling myself that I will take my dinner break this evening and get my walk in.  I know it will spell trouble if I skip two days in a row.   

I've been tracking faithfully, and staying OP since my weigh-in on Thursday. That's a great accomplishment for me.  However, I still don't feel like I'm losing.  I do feel better for all the walking, though, and I know that in the long run, it is all for the best. 

Besides.  Rest is way over-rated.  

Thursday, February 23, 2012

I Should Have

Just ate the damn Girl Scout cookies anyway. I was so excited that I was able to shove the stupid dinky little plastic tray back inside the box, shut the darn thing up and cover it with some paper towels. I didn't even lick my fingers to savor the microscopic shavings of chocolate. No. I wiped them on the paper towels. 
All day my butt, my legs and my arms have hurt. I had to take drugs during the night because my legs ache so badly. I have never before been able to say that "I walked 10 miles in four days". But today I could say that. (And I said it quite often, thank you very much, both to myself and anyone else who would listen.)
I didn't really feel like I lost a ton of weight this week. I stayed the same last week. I was kinda sort okay with that, because I hadn't been tracking 100%, but it still pissed me off. 
I did 80% better with tracking this week. Okay, so I blew it over the weekend. But... hey. I walked ten frickin' miles in four days this week!! And was perfectly OP beginning Sunday afternoon. 

And I seriously gained 0.6 lb this week. Come on. What's up with that? Yeah, yeah, I know the answer "my muscles [oh my aching muscles!!] are retaining fluid from being worked [abused!!!] from walking ten miles in the past four days". 

ummm hmmmm. If I had known for sure that I wasn't going to show a loss, I'd have ate the stupid cookies. And the Hershey Kisses. And the Mexican take-out.

No, not really. I'm just kidding. [I think...]

Well, if nothing else, I'm good and pissed off about it now, and I'm determined to show that Satan of a scale that I'm in control. I'm gonna do my very best to be 100% OP the entire week. Yes, I'm planning to walk another 10-12 miles this week too. And if I gain weight again, I swear to all that is good in this world, I will throw my treadmill in the river, burn my tennis shoes, and use my DVDs for skeet targets. 

But that won't happen again... will it?

I Will Not

I will not eat those Girl Scout cookies on the counter.

I WILL not eat those Girl Scout cookies on the counter.

I will NOT eat those Girl Scout cookies on the counter.

Not to worry. DH will finish them off this evening, I'm sure. Devil that he is. In the meantime...


Just like I did not eat those Dunkin Donuts that he brought home. Or the Hershey Kisses that he brought home. Or the Mexican takeout that he brought home.

Grrrrrr. I'm asking for an entire box of Bravo Stars tonight!!!!

What is that saying? That which doesn't kill us only serves to make us stronger. 

So where do I order my tights and my cape?

Tuesday, February 21, 2012


Just so you can be as impressed as I was: When I logged my miles last night on the Walk Social page, in the previous 24 hours, walkers had logged 2,646 miles. Some walkers did the prescribed amount of 4 miles, (like me). Others did more, some did less. At any rate, it was quite impressive. I'm feeling it, too!! Happy that I'm getting a workout in my shoulders and arms as well. I can feel the ache in those muscles as well as my butt and thighs. I'm still amazed at how high those ladies can step and kick. Maybe when some of the chub around my waist is gone, I can do that too. Right now I just think it's physically impossible to kick my legs high enough to be parallel with the floor. And certainly not as fast as they do it!! I can hardly lift my feet off the floor fast enough to keep up with them. Can't wait to compare the ease with which I do this at the end of the challenge! 

So far I have 7 miles logged in three days. (Should have been 9, but I only survived 1 mile out of 3 on the first day.) 

Today's assignment: 2 miles. 

NSV - Back to tracking food. Yay! 

Happy Tuesday!

Monday, February 20, 2012


No, I'm not celebrating my 21st birthday.  I did that 32 years ago.  :-)
No, I didn't have a winning hand at Black Jack
Yes, that's the legal age to drink alcohol in my state

So what's the significance of 21 for me?  Well, I have this friend named Edna.  I spoke of her in my last post.  She lives Up North, but came home last fall for our high school class reunion.  I noticed a Facebook post that she mentioned a 21-day challenge on the Leslie Sansone FB page.  Since my latest Treadmill Adventure sorta fizzled out, I thought I needed a kick in the butt to get me back on track with some sort of work-out routine.  So I checked out the challenge.  

Basically, you follow a prescribed regimen of varied walking distances each day.  Sounded reasonable to me.  I've used her Walk Away The Pounds videos in the past and have found them just about perfect for me.  From her FB page there's a tab called Walk Social.  You go there and register (or simply sign in using FB).  There are a few of Leslie's videos available to use, but I also had one of her DVDs here at home.  The first assignment was a FAST 3-mile walk for the first day. That video was available on the WS page.  Ummmm..... Suffice it to say my chubby little legs/feet simply would not move that fast.  I huffed and puffed and made it through the first mile, though I'm sure step for step I didn't keep up with them.  While they walked a mile, I probably did 3/4 of a mile.  But, hey.  It's a start.  One of my favorite WWisms by my favorite WW leader Linda is this:  "Start where you are right now."   Kind of a no-brainer, because that's all you can do.  But sometimes we just need to hear that where we are right now is okay.  It's the "start" part that counts.                  

Yesterday's assignment was a 2-mile walk. I couldn't find that video on the site, so I pulled out the DVD (thanks for lending it to me forever ago, DJ... I'm finally using it!!) and got the 2-mile walk in.  Kept up with them pretty good on this one.  As a side note, though, I am somewhat distressed about something.  I'm just a chubby white girl, no particular rhythm or soul, but I'm finding out that as I have become older, I am even less coordinated than ever, and I pretty much suck at adding any moves other than the basics.  I want to do Zumba.  But if I can't even get some of these basic workout moves down, I'm not sure I'll ever get there.  Maybe as the chub comes off I'll get a little of my coordination back.  Perhaps when I can concentrate on other things besides breathing and staying upright, I can manage to add a little more ooomph to my step and spice it up a little.  

The DVD workouts are more than just walking in place.  It's a pretty decent workout for upper body too.  There's lots of arm action going on as well.  And, hey... I see some of those girls breaking a sweat too!!  Just after two days of it, I can feel that soreness in my butt, arms, shoulders, and calves. YAY!

Today's assignment is a brutal 4-mile walk.  I'm a reasonable enough person to know that if 2 miles is kickin' my butt, then I'd be risking life and limb to try to make it 4 miles at one time.  So, I have broken it down to two 2-mile sessions.  I've just finished my first session, and my heart rate has returned to normal.  I'll be starting work in just a few minutes, and it's Monday, which means it's my extra-long shift-and-a-half work day/night.  But at some point, I'll take a break and get in the final 2 miles. 

You're encouraged to log your miles on the Walk Social page, and they're keeping a running 24-hour tally.  I am amazed at these people.  Obviously they've been working on their fitness way longer than me, as some of these people are going way, WAY above and beyond the challenge regimen, and are posting INSANE workouts.  (I'm just jealous because I want to be them. ha!)  I'll post my 4 miles once I've completed the next session.  I can't wait to see how many miles will be logged by the end of the evening.  

Tomorrow it's back to 2 miles.  Maybe I'll be able to ace it by then.  :-) Wish me Luck!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Don't Quit!

Stayed the same this week. I "flunked" the Valentine's Day thing, and ate some scrumptious things that were definitely not points friendly. Yesterday, I spent the day with my grandbabies, and unwisely had a piece or two (or three) of their Valentine candy. I'm feeling a little out of control. So far, when I have slipped a little bit, I have been able to pick myself up and get back on track. I'm reaching really deep this time to make it happen again. :-)

Another of our "olden days" WW buddies joined us on Thursday night. So now there are four of us: Myself, DJ, Teresa, and Barbara. It's fun to do it as a group. After our meetings, it's Girls' Night Out, and we take turns choosing somewhere to go for dinner. Love that GNO!!!

I graduated from high school in 1976. Yeah, back in the olden days when we had to write our homework on the cave walls with hammer and chisel. We had our 35th class reunion this past October. I'm from a small town, and our graduating class wasn't that large. Even so, reunion attendance represented only about 25-30% of our classmates. Several folks traveled quite a ways to attend. I suppose the farthest was a gal who flew in from Pennsylvania. I don't remember Edna from high school, but since we started the planning process about a year ago, we had become Facebook friends. We've talked/joked/lamented about our weight issues over that period of time, and it just so happened that we re-joined WW at the same time. We keep up with each other's progress as the weeks go by, and it's fun having another person along for the journey. 

As I said, I'm reaching deep to get this train(wreck) back on track. This morning, I noticed that Edna had posted a really neat poem that hit me right where I needed it most: My Mental State. I don't know if she penned the words, or if she copied it somewhere else, so I don't know who deserves credit, but I thought since it was something that inspired me, that perhaps someone else would find it helpful as well. 

Don’t Quit
When you’ve eaten too much and you can’t write it down
And you feel like the biggest failure in town
When you want to give up just because you gave in
And forget about being healthy and thin
So What! You went over your points a bit
It’s the next move you make that counts. ..So don’t you quit!
It’s a moment of truth, it’s an attitude change.
It’s telling yourself “You’ve done great up ‘til now
You can take on this challenge and beat it somehow.”
It’s part of your journey toward reaching your goal.
You’re still going to make it, just stay in control.
To stumble and fall is not a disgrace
If you summon the will to get back in the race.
But, often the strugglers, when losing their grip
Just throw in the towel and continue to slip
And learn too late when the damage is done
That the race wasn’t over and they still could’ve won
Lifestyle change can be awkward and slow
But facing each challenge will help you grow
Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint in a cloud of doubt
When you’re pushing to the brink, just refuse to submit.
If you bite it, write it..

Friday, February 10, 2012


Whoever thought such a small number would bring such satisfaction!  Last night at my WI, I reached my 5% goal.  Woo Hoo!!  I'm down a total 11.6 lb.  DJ had her first WI and was down 5 lb in week one! WTG DJ!!!  Our friend Teresa joined last night as well.  Thursdays are Girls' Night Out.  No Boys Allowed.  We weigh, attend the meeting, then have a points-friendly dinner together and catch up on our girl time.  

IT'S ON NOW!!!  While there's the additional benefit of having our own personal cheerleaders at each meeting and during the week... it also brings out a little bit of a competitive spirit in each of us.  Which is a GOOD THING!!  

So YAY for reaching 5%, and YAY for my two friends traveling this road with me.  

Happy Weekend Everyone!!

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Seeing Stars and Onederland!!!

That's right... stars with an "s". As in plural. I have TWO 5-lb stars! This week's WI revealed a 2.6 lb loss, bringing my total loss to 10.6 lb! Most satisfying! Sometimes the scale doesn't reflect the effort we put into the program, and I was kind of afraid that would happen tonight. Even so, I was hoping for a teeny tiny loss, but secretly dreading a gain. Not because I didn't work the program... truly I did... but it's this dastardly GI thing that plagues me. Thankfully, regardless of how I felt physically today, the numbers did indeed reflect my efforts, and I came away very encouraged. I'm so grateful!

My BFF Debbie Jo joined tonight, and that is super exciting! We've been down the WW road together several times in the past, and that girl can really rock it! I'm excited that we'll be doing it together again. 

It's time to re-stock the pantry with my go-to favorites, and maybe try some new things. I'm reminded that this is not a "diet". It is a lifestyle change, and I don't want to burn myself out the same food so early in the program. 

Tomorrow is a busy day, then Saturday my grandchildren are coming for a sleepover. 

Life is good!

EDITED TO ADD: OMG!!!!!! I can't believe I didn't notice this!!! I just went to update my stats for my profile here and guess what??? I am in Onderland!! Well, just barely, but... Just... Wow!!!

Happy Weekend, everyone!

Monday, January 30, 2012

That Girl / This Girl

There's this gal whose blog I follow She's just the cutest thing, and her blog inspires me so! One day she posted this:
That Girl: I can’t do this. I’ve already failed a million times.
This Girl: Even if it takes a million times, I will do this.
That Girl: I’m too far gone to ever be different.
This Girl: It’s never too late to be what you might have been.
That Girl: It will take forever to lose the weight. Ugh.
This Girl: Healthiness is something I want for a lifetime.
That Girl: Everyone will be skeptical if I try again.
This Girl: Believe what you will – trying again is the only way.
That Girl: I like good food too much to give it up.
This Girl: No food is worth dying over.
That Girl: There are too many temptations to be successful.
This Girl: Addressing temptation head-on leads to success.
That Girl: I know I will mess up, so why even try?
This Girl: I know I will mess up, so why NOT try?
That Girl: My body is fine just the way it is. Take it or leave it.
This Girl: God’s not finished with me yet. Be patient with me.
That Girl: I don’t have time to focus on my health.
This Girl: I make time for what is important.
That Girl: I am not an athlete. Exercise is not for me.
This Girl: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
That Girl: I will wait until tomorrow.
This Girl: “Tomorrow” is not a day of the week.
That Girl: If I lose the weight I need to, I will be happy.
This Girl: My weight does not determine my happiness.
That Girl: This just seems impossible.
This Girl: What seems impossible with man is possible with God.
That Girl: No one understands how this feels.
This Girl: I am not alone.
I want to add a new entry. This is totally from the heart, and based on my past two weekends:
That Girl: Oh, well. I've blown it again. Might as well give up.
This Girl: Oh, well. I blew it yesterday (or the weekend.) Today is a NEW DAY, and I am BACK ON PROGRAM!!
The reason that I'm such a seasoned WW veteran is that I would "blow it", and then not being able to recuperate and get back on track. And that would be the end of the journey for me. Thankfully, this time, something seems to have clicked in my brain that helps me to really get that, while not blowing it is certainly better than blowing it, starting over is always the better choice. I remember hearing one former WW leader say "Start where you are right now." Okay, so the weekend wasn't perfect. That's okay. I counted my points, and I still have some Weekly Points left, so I didn't really blow it as bad as I could have. The weekend wasn't perfect, but every day starts off perfect (OP) and perfection depends on my decision. This is where I am today, at this moment... perfect (OP).. and I will build on that. There are so many things in life over which I have no control. But the one thing I can control is what I put in my mouth. There's a weekend tacked to every week, and I know those are my challenge days, when I'm off the normal routine. It's still early in the journey, and with each weekend challenge lies a new opportunity to do better. I may never reach weekend OP perfection, but as long as I'm able to refocus and get back on track once the weekend is over, I am not going to consider it defeat. If I make better choices five days out of seven, then I will take it!! The weight may take a little longer to come off, but this eating plan is for life. I have found that if I'm not going down, I'm going up. I'm not That Girl any more. This Girl is going down.
Happy Monday, everybody!!!

Thursday, January 26, 2012


Yes, friends, it's that time again.  When every entrance to every store will be descended upon by our little green-vested munchkins, wielding the weapon that brings many of us to our knees.  Girl Scout Cookies.  I will be the first to admit the demise of many a diet plan with "just one" cookie.  Just one cookie turns into two or three.  And then, since there are only a dozen or so in the box, in order to hide the evidence of my binge, I'll just eat the entire box so I can destroy the evidence.  I can't quote the date, but I distinctly remember the first time I bit into a Tagalong.  Oh. My. Goodness.  Can I just say that I died and went to heaven right then and there!  On the spot. In the ensuing years, I have personally, all by my own self, consumed enough Tagalong cookies to build the Superdome.  Well, maybe not quite that many, but... there's still time... right?

My very own little granddaughter will will be among the green-vested clad of munchkins outside Wal Mart this year.  They really know how to play it, don't they! Number One: Who can resist the opportunity to support such an an outstanding organization as the Girl Scouts?  (We will, for the purpose of this post, ignore the deplorable fact that the troops only realize 10-15% of each sale)  Number Two:  Who can resist the sweet little faces of the little girls who rush to meet you with such enthusiasm?  (and the weary faces of their adult supervisors who just want to go home and get in out of the cold) Number Three:  And the bottom line is... who can resist the delicious cookies themselves?

I can resist them.  (repeated to myself ad nauseam).  I can resist.  I will resist.  
All together now, say it with me:  We Will Resist!

The beautiful thing about WW is that we actually don't have to resist. Budget the cookie(s) into your daily points allowance, and it's fine.  The ugly thing about my own personal self is that... it's kind of like being an addict... I do not have strength enough to stop after just one or two.  I know this.  Therefore I have made a promise to myself, and have told several of my friends about it.  I'm going to choose something that I would never otherwise buy or do for myself.  When the cookie season is over (and don't even talk to me about freezing them... there are never any left to freeze...), and all the cookies have been sold, delivered, and consumed, on the day that I can declare (shout!) that I didn't eat one cookie, no, not even ONE... then I shall treat myself to whatever-something I decide on.  It has to be a really good something, otherwise I'll just buy/do it anyway, regardless of the cookie thing.  So, while I'm ordering cookies for my DH, and helping my granddaughter meet her sales goals, I'll be thinking of what it is that I want my reward to be.  Incidentally, if I had all the money I've spent on GS cookies over the past 30-40 years, I could probably afford a nice cruise or a weekend trip to Vegas or NYC.  But I won't have that much money, so I gotta think of something special on a smaller scale.  

What's something you would use as a reward for achieving a giant goal like this?

Monday, January 23, 2012

Monday, Monday

It has been a yucky, rainy, chilly weekend, and today is no different. The rain has been so bad my phone service went out, and my turtle-speed internet has slowed to a snail's pace. Other than that, it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood! Feeling back in control today after the weekend almost went out of control. Whew! That was close! 

My tummy is feeling better today, thankfully! I added 5 more minutes to the treadmill, and upped the speed from 2.0 to 2.5 mph. Baby steps. Lots and lots of baby steps. 

My BFF Debbie Jo is tentatively planning on attending my meeting Thursday night, and most likely will be joining the next week. We're both old pros at WW, and she lost over 100 lbs on the program several years ago. I finished my Jennifer Hudson book this weekend, and took it to her this morning. She's getting the same vibe as me... seems like the WW ads are everywhere, and even Dr. Oz is getting on the bandwagon (though I'm still not sure exactly in what capacity). I'm just glad she's feeling the tug like I was, and hope that she'll soon be on the journey with me. She was a model WWer, so faithful to research, count points, and journal her food intake. I think she's gonna really love the e-tools, and rock the program! It will be so much fun to be traveling the journey together (again!)

So despite the dismal weather outside, Monday, Monday has been a good day so far. Quittin' time isn't until 11 p.m. tonight, so I still have quite a ways to go before I can call the work day complete. I have the DVR programmed to record that stupid Bachelor show, and like I've done every other Monday since the new season started, I'll finish up my work and go chill out in front of the TV for a while before going to bed. Every season I say I'm not going to watch it. And then I get sucked in every time. ha! Doesn't take much to entertain me, I guess. 

Happy Monday, Monday, everyone!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Weekend, Be Gone!!

Okay, enough already.  It has been a rainy, dreary, messy weekend with a house full of grandkids.  When it rains, my internet service sucks even worse than it already does.  And that makes for a very grumpy CathyB. My work depends on my internet connection.  And when it's slow, I cannot be productive.  Thus the grumpy CathyB. 

This little girl looks sad that the weekend is over.  I'm pretty much glad it's over... and hoping that the End Of Story, in my case for this weekend, is a GOOD thing!!

I fell off the wagon this weekend.... but I'm keeping it all in perspective.  I still have 30 points left in the weekly allowance, so I'm not in the negative or anything, but it's still very early in my week.  Weigh in is Thursday.  I'm thinking that 0.8 gain has done something to my brain. I know the reason for the gain, and am determined not to let it get me down. But I think way underneath the layers of my resolve, there lies a little niggling monster that is screaming "see there, I told you it wouldn't work... again!!"  I'm taking control, and getting back on track.  My NSV here is that I tracked my mistakes.  The Old Me would have just figured nobody will know, and nobody will care, so just scratch off the day and go to the next.  The New Me is trying to live up to the promise to myself to track everything.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.  Nobody else will know.  And truth be told, nobody else probably would care.  But I know.  And I care.  This is not about anyone else.  It's about me.  And if I can't be true to myself, and own my mistakes and bad choices, then I'm the one who will be hurt by it.  Nobody else.  It's not a narcissistic thing.  

And so I have tracked my mistakes, and will move forward.  My work week started an hour ago, and I'm back into my routine.  I have 8 points left for today, without dipping into my extra allowance.  That is manageable.  And I'm reaching back to something I read last week that said "If you kinda do it, it kinda works.  If you really do it, it really works".  So for the rest of today, I will really do it.  I won't think about tomorrow or the rest of the week.  I'll just concentrate on the next hour, then the next, and soon my work day will be over, and it will be time for sleep.  And tomorrow I'll have a brand new day to work with... even if I have to take it one hour at a time.  

Happy Sunday, everyone!

Friday, January 20, 2012


As per my TMI post yesterday, my IBS tummy problems did not bode well for me last night on the scale. I was up 0.8. I had psyched myself up for it all day (several days), knowing what would happen. But, I was secretly hoping for a little mini-miracle, and was pretty bummed when I didn't get my miracle. 
So what's the NSV? The NSV is that The Old Me would have totally blown it and used the bump in the road as an excuse to eat ice cream and cookies and candy... after all, I showed a gain, and I have SEVEN DAYS to get back on track and lose that 0.8 lb... right? 

My DH attended the meeting with me. He seriously needs to be on the plan. Unfortunately, he wasn't very motivated with the speaker or the ladies, so I doubt he'll be officially joining the program. I keep hoping he will see my success, and simply adopt better eating habits and make better choices. He has been impressed so far with my resolve to do this. The main reason he went with me, though, was the promise of dinner out afterwards. One of our favorite places to go is Chili's. I knew I had only had 8 points all day long, and I knew I could fit the meal into my plan for the day. Even though I was discouraged, I am amazed that I wasn't even tempted to chunk the plan and order what The Old Me would have ordered. I got the Margarita Chicken. My handy-dandy iPhone WW app told me this was 15 points. I exchanged the beans and rice for steamed broccoli, and though I'm not sure it was 100% correct, I shaved off 2 points and only counted it as 13 points. And besides, I gave about 1/3 of the chicken to DH. For my other side, I ordered a house salad, lite dressing on the side. I didn't eat the croutons. I counted 3 points for the salad dressing, but I need to investigate that a little more, and may need to adjust the value. 

Edited to add- I looked up the values for the lite dressing and figured the points. Only 2, instead of 3. Yay!

I picked up some medication for the IBS, and hopefully that will settle down soon. I know that even though it's a setback, it could have been a lot worse. And I know that I worked the program correctly. I'm even thinking that it's taking my body a little while to get accustomed to the new eating habits, (especially the lack of all the fatty food I used to eat), and it's just adjusting to the new regimen. All will be well, and I'm okay. 

I found the safety key for the treadmill, and that's on my (very long) list of things to do today! 

Happy Friday, everyone!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Thursday Morning Comin' Down

Thursday, January 19, 2012
Post ImageYay! It's the last day of the work week!! Well, for my "main" job, at least. I'll have some contract work to do tomorrow, but that shouldn't take long. Tonight is weigh-in #3, and I'm trying to psyche myself about it. I have IBS, which means that some days I *go* and some days (sometimes many days in a row), I *don't*. (Sorry, TMI) But it is a significant issue, and I know it can wreak havoc on the scales. I am trying to be prepared for that. Because I know I've been perfectly OP points-wise. My plan to get the treadmill moved to a user-friendly location was delayed, but I'm happy to report that this morning we moved it to the new location. I have ordered a personal DVD player, so that I can pass the time on the treadmill watching movies. I scored all the Twilight movies for $2.00 each on Black Friday, so I'm excited that I will have time to watch them. It's a kill-two-birds-with-one-stone kind of thing. Get my walking in, and watch some movies that DH doesn't care about seeing. Yay!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Treadmill Desk

I so want this. My problem is that I use a footpedal to control the digital voice files that I'm transcribing. I'm hoping someone can invent a thumb-activated control. I would totally use this. I already have a treadmill, so I'm brainstorming how my DH, who can build anything, can build this desk for me... with the option to sit down too. Some of these treadmill desks come with "lifts" that will lower and raise the desktop to allow for either sitting or standing. Yep, I want one of these.